The Beginning of Morning Looks A Lot Like Night

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

And in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord,

More than the watchmen wait for the morning,

More than the watchmen wait for the morning.

-Psalm 130:5&6

It was almost midnight when I closed my journal and reached to turn off the lamp beside my bed.  “Good night, Lord,” I said as I clicked the switch and plopped my head down in the darkness.  I laughed and thought, in a few minutes, I can just say, “Good morning, Lord!”  I lay there as the clock turned one minute at a time, from night to morning.  The darkness remained the same.  Without the red digital numbers on my bedstand, I’d never guess it was morning. 

When I awoke seven hours later, I pulled on stretch pants, a sweatshirt, a winter hat, and gloves.  The sun was rising in a glorious painting of reds, yellows, and oranges, and I wanted to run in the light of it.  My breath came out in frosty puffs and my cheeks stung a little with the cold.  Why doesn’t God just turn morning on like a lamp?  Sun on, sun off.  Why does He delight in slow, measured transitions of light each day?

January in Seattle is quite dark.  Some days, it feels like the sky just goes from black to dark gray, back to black again.  We’ve already passed the winter solstice.  Seasonally speaking, it is morning now.  But it looks a lot like night.  I drive to work and home again with headlights on and no noticeable light difference in the sky.  I can’t perceive the change, but I am convinced.  It is getting incrementally lighter every day.

When I pray, sometimes God clicks the light switch on.  The other night, I was really sad and was curled up in a blanket on the couch.  I needed some community.  I called out, “God, will you please get me out of this house?”  Beep!  My phone indicated a text message received.  Right then.  Click!  Lights on!  My friend Jen invited me over for a bowl of chili and some worship with her husband and friends.  I blew my nose, kept the blanket around me, and headed out for a cozy evening with friends.

More often, it seems God likes to bring answers like He does with the dawn.  Gradually.  Faithfully.  Beautifully.

If I’m not watchful, I will believe it is still night. 

Today, I pray that I may be convinced of the morning that is here for my heart’s deep prayers.  That I may view the seeming darkness around me as the beginning of dawn.  That I may bask in the glorious shifting of sky, the healing of hearts, the barriers broken, the life restored.  Morning coming and morning fading are God’s good, well-timed works.  He is just as faithful in His promises. 

Good morning, Lord!

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