Yesterday at church, I was standing and singing the worship song, “Beautiful Things” by Gungor (listen here). I held a little girl in my arms who called me Mommy for a brief season of life. My tall, oldest son leaned against us. Another special daughter-for-a-time smiled and played with our toddler daughter, who squirmed and laughed in my husband’s arms. And, if you can believe it, one more child, our almost five year old son, knelt next to the pew and scribbled letters on the bulletin handout. ‘This is beautiful,’ I thought, ‘It’s crazy and it’s beautiful.’
Almost seven years ago, when my oldest son was a baby, I invited a friend from church to our house so I could learn more of her story. She and her husband had six kids, three who were adopted from foster care. I remember being really surprised when she told me the goal of foster care is reconciliation. Before that, I’d mistakenly assumed that kids in foster care were in bad situations and needed adoption, not to go back to the parents who’d let them be harmed. This church friend changed my perspective.
Years later, now foster parents ourselves, my husband and I said yes to two little girls - sisters, aged 4 and 2. We took care of them for six and a half months, then they achieved the goal of care: reconciliation. They went back to their mom. She’d undergone a lot and is still pursuing a life of recovery. Even after they lived with their mom again, we took them to church with us for a few months. It was great to have relationship without the stress that foster care can bring. They moved and a year went by with no contact. Then, just a few weeks ago, their family reached out to us. They live in town again. The girls miss us and ask about going to church.
Just like that, we have been with them again on Sunday mornings. Their mom drops them off and picks them up and we get a couple of hours together as something I don’t know how to label. We’re sort of family, sort of friends… mostly just a big group of loud, active happy faces. I’m very aware that this is not how a lot of foster stories turn out. This feels unique, and I’m grateful. I said as much to the girls’ mom in the church parking lot. She agrees. It’s unusual and it’s good.
Their mom doesn’t know how much I’ve prayed for her. My husband and I pray over our sleeping kids before we turn in for the night. When our foster daughters were with us, I prayed for their mom. I was watching her babies sleep when it should have been her. I prayed for her, that she could recover and that somehow those missed moments would be redeemed. I pray that the cycle of addiction would stop with her, through the tough work to which she was willingly submitting herself. I often struggled with resentment, yet I felt bonded to her somehow just through mothering her girls for a time. Now, I get to see them together as a family.
In my Bible study this year, we are studying the prophets in the Old Testament. Again and again, the theme seems to be God’s people turning away from Him – to idols, to evil, to their own ways of doing life. I see in these stories God’s desire for reconciliation. Sin creates separation and God’s desire is oneness with us.
God sent His Son Jesus Christ so that each of us may experience the beauty of reconciliation with Him. We are not meant to be separate. We are meant to know God, enjoy Him, and live lives in deep connection and devotion to Him.
Through foster care, I witnessed the deep pain of separation and now the indescribable beauty of reconciliation. Through my relationship with Jesus Christ, I can daily ask for help to turn away from the things that separate me from God, and experience life close to Him, my heavenly Father. I want this for you too.
If you are reading this, and desire closeness with God, just pray – talk to God. No certain script is needed. Express your desire to turn away from whatever is taking you away from God and your desire to know Him better. God is a loving and merciful God and will meet you right there. It will be beautiful. Reconciliation is beautiful.
One more song, if you want to soak in God's love for you (here).
