Celiac disease has a way of narrowing my choices in
life. I get sick from gluten, dairy, and
eggs, so when Jeff and I go out to eat, I read menus carefully. I speak a second language called
Allergenish. Words like breaded and
whole grain are translated to “nope” and “no way”. Creamy means “not for you” and sauces are
just plain suspicious.
Being prone to
indecision, this celiac exclusion can be kind of nice. I know within minutes the two or three
options I can order and what modifications I need to request. I’ll chat with Jeff about what he’s considering
and I often urge him to try something off-limits that sounds good to me, but
there’s no joy in dwelling on what I can’t have. People express sympathy that I can’t eat a
treat or they ask if I have found gluten-free equivalents. There are many yummy things that are safe for
me and I love things that taste like the pre-diagnosis days, but my response is,
“I’m grateful to know what makes my body well.
Being healed is way better than any cinnamon roll tastes.”
I need to hear those words. My mind and heart need regular affirmation
that I am gratefully excluded from the full range of the food world.
This is not to say that I am a slave. I am quite free to eat whatever I
choose. My naturopath will never
know. My gut knows though. Eating outside my guidelines not only makes
me bloated, uncomfortable, and nauseated, but gluten actually kills the lining
of my intestines. Depression and panic
attacks come as side dishes.
There is a spiritual correlation that I want to understand
better. I am challenged by how much
choice we have as Christians. I believe
God leads us, and He’s given us freewill.
In Bible study, we are studying Moses and the Israelites. God held them to His guidelines and there
were deep consequences (like death) for disobedience. I
know I slip up so much. Is it only Jesus’
death on my behalf that keeps God from ending my life of willful rebellion and
negative attitudes? If that’s the case,
then how do I live? Do my choices
matter?
Absolutely yes.
Absolutely yes. Those
were the words I used to accept Jeff when he asked if I would be his wife. The words that declared my choice to commit
myself to him for the rest of my life.
The words I used to choose Jeff.
Because whatever kind of life I was going to have, I was going to have
it with him.
Read part of Romans 6 with me:
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under the law but under grace? By no means! 16 Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17 But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you have come to obey from your heart the pattern of teaching that has now claimed your allegiance. 18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
19 I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. 20 When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. 21 What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death!22 But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life.23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[b] Christ Jesus our Lord.
Wait- I thought I wasn’t a slave. Is it somehow possible to be a slave and have
freewill? I think God’s answer is absolutely yes.
Living according to God’s guidelines is a choice. It is a choice that narrows our focus like a
Celiac reading a menu. A huge chunk of
options are automatically out, a few can be modified, and a few are totally
acceptable.
We can choose what to eat or
do in life, and we can also choose how to view our situation. The menu can be sad (“I can’t have that”),
bitter (“I used to love that”), or self-pitying (“Jeff gets to have so much
more than me”). Or, our narrowed choices
can reflect the freedom of a new life.
Because I’ve found healing, I choose this option that is in agreement
with who I now know I am.
Maybe the word slave needs a new connotation. It’s only a negative word if you’re a slave
to something oppressive. Choosing to be
Jeff’s wife is beautifully limiting. I’m
so happy to not choose anyone else for the rest of my life if I get to be with
Jeff. I don’t care if I ever taste
gluten again because I’m free from all the disaster it wreaks on my body. I know what is life-giving and what is not.
Just as I affirm out loud that my eating
choices have opened up new, exquisitely healed life, I can say the same of
following God. What could that sound like? “Yeah, I used to really enjoy pity
parties. I know those make me depressed and ineffective though, so I’m super grateful God gave me peace and joy today.” I’d certainly feel like a weirdo to say that
out loud, but the basis is serious. If I
could be God’s slave my whole life and never be in bondage to anything else,
what could be better? I am gratefully
excluded from things that bring death to me and others.
Loving Father,
Thank You for the freedom of choice. Thank You for Your Word that shows me how to
live in a way that brings you fame. I am
so very happy to be Your slave. That
feels strange to say, because I’m not used to the good kind of slavery
yet. It’s by choosing to bind myself to
You that I find the most freedom ever – eternal life with You. That’s what I want. I want to be with You now and always. I want that for others too. Please help us all to choose You and to find
perfect delight in ignoring all the stuff that used to seem so temptingly
good. It’s all crap compared to You. I love You, Jesus.
Your Happy Slave
