- Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
A lot has happened in the last two months. I've been feeling tired, sad, and weighed down. My friend Anne and I go for a walk every Saturday morning, and she's been a sweet voice of encouragement. Yesterday, after my Anne-walk, I met my friend Jesica at The Flying Apron to celebrate her recent birthday with a gluten-free, vegan lunch. As we caught up on each other's lives, I was unable to hold back my sadness. Jesica talked with me about releasing all these burdens to God. Whatever I did or didn't do up until that moment, I could leave those things behind. Today was going to hold something precious and good - because God loves us. He loves us SO very much.
After lunch, I went downtown and used an REI gift card to buy a few more things for my Uganda trip. As I perused some clearance bins, I kind of wanted someone to strike up conversation with me about what I was shopping for. "Oh, I'm going to Africa next week..." Maybe there's some bragging in there, but it's more that I barely believe it myself. Dang.
(ps - There are a few gluten-free freeze-dried meals available now. Hooray! That should work well for dinner on the plane. Do you think they'll let me heat some water on a little campstove propped on my tray table? Just kidding.)
I went home, dropped off my REI items, and headed to Bartell's on foot to get a few things Jesica suggested. Jesica has been to Uganda and she said a pack of baby wipes will feel like a luxury after a day with dust-covered legs and feet.
It was drizzling on the return walk. I juggled my purse, purchases, umbrella, and the Popchips I was munching on. As I crossed a major intersection, I noticed someone in the street a little farther up. A blind woman was in the middle of the busy street, tapping her walking stick, and tentatively making her way across as cars did their best to avoid her. A woman in an SUV stopped, rolled down her window, and was calling out for the blind woman to stay put. "Don't move, Sweetie! Stop!" The blind woman called back, "I'm looking for St. John's! 79th and Greenwood! It should be right here!"
I ran out into the street and took the blind woman by the arm, shoving my chips into my purse so I could signal for the oncoming cars to stop. The blind woman continued, "We must be almost there. 79th and Greenwood."
"Well, we were literally in the middle of 80th and Greenwood. Let's see if I can find your church."
I didn't see the church, so I asked her to wait while I jogged a block down the side street to see the name of the church down there. It was St. John's. I jogged back to the woman, and we walked arm in arm to the church.
Her name was Joy and boy, does she love the Lord! The minute we started walking, she began talking about how good the Lord is. She isn't Catholic and doesn't attend St. John's, but she went to a concert there recently and wanted to come back for Saturday night mass. Joy invited me to join her for the mass. I thought, Why not? We must have been a sight, with me balancing my bags and umbrella, and Joy clutching her walking stick, two stuffed animals, and a Walkman cassette player.
We were late, and stumbled our way into a back pew. I was going to ask where she wanted to sit, but then thought better of it. A good view of the priest wasn't necessary in this case, right? A sense of a divine appointment didn't occur to me until I began to listen to the message. The priest was Kenyan. He had a deep, booming, beautifully accented voice. He spoke of fishing in Lake Victoria (also a part of Uganda!) when he was a child. Joy added, "Oh, I love fish too! Salmon is my favorite!" It didn't seem like a spontaneous participation kind of church, but Joy sprinkled affirmative comments throughout. It blessed me to see her freedom.
The message was about the disciples' miraculous catch of fish. They fished unsuccessfully for a full night, and then Jesus told them to put their nets out again. The priest talked about areas of life where we feel defeated. "Put your net into deep waters," he boomed, "Put your net into deep waters. Trust the One who tells you to try again. Don't think about what an expert fisherman you are or what happened the last time you tried. Put your net into deep waters. Put your net into deep waters."
After the message, a children's choir sang, and we all said the Apostle's Creed. In this spiritually dry time I've been having, it was food for my soul to affirm what I believe. I had memorized the Creed in college, and my memory was shaky, but I followed along as best as I could.
I believe in God the Father, Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth:
And in Jesus Christ, his only begotten Son, our Lord:
Who was conceived by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary:
Suffered under Pontius Pilate; was crucified, dead and buried: He descended into hell:
The third day he rose again from the dead:
He ascended into heaven, and sits at the right hand of God the Father Almighty:
From thence he shall come to judge the quick and the dead:
I believe in the Holy Ghost:
I believe in the holy catholic church: the communion of saints:
The forgiveness of sins:
The resurrection of the body:
And the life everlasting. Amen.
At the end, we met a few folks in the foyer. "I'm Joy. I'm not a Catholic, but God bless you anyway!"
I told Joy how cool it was to listen to an African priest because I was going to Africa soon. She loves the African Children's choir, so we walked back to the bus stop, arm in arm again, singing one of their signature songs.
"The Name of the Lord is, a strong tower. The righteous run into it, and they are saved! Blessed be the Name of the Lord.....Blessed be the Name of the Lord....Blessed be the Name of the Lord, Most High...."
Joy prayed blessings over me and I prayed for her too. My prayers were interrupted by more of her prayers for me, but I'm sure God understood us both through the mish-mash of words.
I've had day after day after day where I've felt alone and in the dark. I haven't expected positive things to happen. After the Jesica lunch, I put my net out again. I didn't expect the catch of fish would come in the form of a blind woman crossing a busy street, but it was a wonderful catch.
What have you been trying, over and over again? What have you hoped for, trusted for, without result? Are you willing to put your net into deep waters? To put your abilities and understanding aside, and open yourself up to receive... again?
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