I had a dream the other night
We were sitting in a car and you were in the driver’s seat
You buckled up and started to drive
It was strange because I can’t remember the last time you drove
It’s been many years
Then I realized you were back
The real you, my Mom
The haze of dementia was mercifully lifted for the span of a dream
You laughed and joked with me.
“I’ve really missed you,” I said,
“You’ve been gone a long time.”
The dream was so palpable that it stayed with me through the waking day
I replayed it in my mind to feel close to you again.
I wish I could find where you are
And make you feel safe and loved again
I wish I could dig deep into your consciousness to a place
Where you could absorb my words
I’d tell you that my care for you is modeled
After a lifetime of watching you selflessly care for others
I’d tell you that Dad is daily laying down his life for you
The things that anger you are actually the ways he’s being loving to you in this season
I want you to remember God’s nearness
That not one day He allows is wasted
Not one.
The beauty of that dream is that I will be with the real you again someday
Just perhaps not on earth
I believe I’ll see you in heaven, restored, renewed
Not only free of dementia, but sin, sadness, and pain
I’ll see you, recognize your joy, and run to you
And I’ll tell you,
“I’ve really missed you.”
