Blind Respect

I’ve been reading "Better Learning Through Structured Teaching" for a book study at work. One of the authors’ assumptions is that when a student responds, he or she “is responding in a perfectly logical manner, given what he or she knows and doesn’t know at that particular moment.” That leaves us teachers to ask ourselves, “What does his answer tell me about what he knows and doesn’t know?”

This assumption speaks of a lot of respect for the learner. It’s very easy to become frustrated with a child’s confusion or inaccurate answers. How can she possibly not get it after all these lessons and work?

“The answer rhymes with meven,” I say.
“Two?” he answers.

I remember when I lived in Iowa and worked with preschoolers. When a child threw herself into her third tantrum of the day, it would drive me crazy! What is her problem? There is nothing going on to suggest a need for all of this crying and flailing! If I switched my mindset , it did worlds of good. Instead of ordering an immediate timeout, I’d take the quick space to think, “This child is communicating important needs right now. What is this telling me about what she needs?” Then, instead of a timeout, we’d role play how to share blocks.

The other day, I felt like I relapsed into the emotionally-charged behaviors I’d like to leave behind. I was acting kind of like a preschooler, actually, and I felt like I ruined what could have been a nice Sunday with Jeremie. My default is to condemn myself. Why haven’t I learned my lesson? Why am I not getting it right yet? Later that night, I put the condemnation aside for a bit and tried respecting myself right where I was. I considered how I acted and the question, “What is this response today saying about what I need?”

An answer came through a story. God reminded me of something Jeremie and I read together recently. In Luke 18:35-43, a blind beggar has an encounter with Jesus.

Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”
“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.
Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.”

I wonder, did the blind guy ask for sight right away, or did he go through some layers before he struck his core need? Did he ask for food or money first and as he asked, it suddenly hit him, “Hey! This is deeper than bread or pocket change! I can’t see! ”

In order to ask for your core need, you have to believe that Jesus has the power and the compassion to give you what you ask for.

I put myself into the story.

“Brooke, what do you want me to do for you?”
“I want no more difficult conversations with people, no more panic attacks, and no more counseling, please.”
“Brooke, what do you want me to do for you?”
“Okay, maybe this is about fear. Will you take my fear away?”
“What are you afraid of?”
“Loneliness? No.
Feeling unsafe? Getting closer…..
Jesus, I feel insecure. I want to control everything so I never have to feel insecure.”

(BIG SIGH)
That’s my blindness.

“Brooke, what do you want me to do for you?”
“Lord, I want to be secure.”

It was there that He poured out His heart for me, wrapped me in security that only He can give, and reminded me that He can do all things. Through respecting myself as a learner, I saw God as a loving teacher and a powerful healer. Like the blind beggar, I received sight. Thank You, Jesus.