Sunday, December 31, 2023

Soak Me Up


It was Thanksgiving morning.  My three kids were buckled in their car seats, three across, the back of the car stacked with suitcases and food for a weekend away with family.  I stood in our kitchen, just around the corner from the door to the garage.  I could hear one of my kids throwing a fit about something – maybe his seatbelt, maybe a sibling argument – who knows?  It was his third meltdown of the morning and it was just after 9 o’clock. 

 

My husband, Jeff, came in, looking for me. 

 

“Ready to go?  Everything okay?”, he asked.

 

“I’m standing here because I feel like a sponge.  I woke up feeling good about this trip.  I’ve been handling everything that usually stresses me out.  I’m not upset.  But, every time he gets upset, I feel it!  I’m soaking up all that angst and irritability!  I don’t want to get in the car with that.”

 

Then Jeff did something I didn’t expect.  He squatted down a little to my height, opened his long arms wide, and broke into a huge grin.

 

“Well, I’m doing GREAT.  I’m lovin’ life!  Come here and soak me up!”

 

He pulled me into a hug, squished me, and danced around.  I started laughing.  We got into the noisy car, both smiling.  The kids began to list their various grievances.  I put my hand on Jeff’s arm.

 

“Are you still lovin’ life?”, I asked.

 

“Yep!”, he said, grinning.

 

We laughed again and backed out of the garage, on our way.

 

 

Since then, I’ve thought about that moment a lot.  It still makes me smile and feel so grateful for this husband that can brighten moments like that with his humor and easygoing nature.  I wonder what I can do to be less of an emotional sponge.  This even happens to me when I watch movies.  For hours afterwards, I will feel emotions the main characters expressed during the film.  In some ways, it’s a piece of me that can offer genuine empathy to people who are hurting.  In other ways, it’s exhausting and makes me try to control my environment so I don’t have to feel things I don’t want to feel (for instance, if my kids are upset, I’ll be more harsh in an attempt to curb their big feelings because I can’t feel okay while they are melting down). 

 

While I’ve yet to get to the bottom of my spongy-ness, this thought occurred to me:  if I can soak up my husband’s peace and joy in a moment – a man who is awesome, but still very human – why can’t I use this quality see and feel things God’s way?  Who better to sponge off of than Him?

 

What is God’s perspective in any given situation?  Is He hopeless?  No.  Stressed?  I don’t think so.  Overwhelmed?  Nope.

 

Is God the authority over everything?  Yes.  Is He a God of peace?  Absolutely.  Does He work everything out for the good of those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose?  No doubt about it.

 

Psalm 16:11 says, “You will make known to me the path of LIFE; in Your presence is fullness of JOY…”

 

Zephaniah 3:17 says, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a MIGHTY one who will save; He will rejoice over you with GLADNESS; He will quiet you by His LOVE; He will exult over you with glad singing.”

 

I have help, I have joy that’s soak-up-able, I have glad singing, life, strength, wisdom…the list can go on and on.  With the same gratitude and joy that I remember Jeff’s arms ready to receive me, I can imagine Jesus’s arms.  In those moments when I realize I’m receiving the chaos around me – and thus, having a difficult time relating with others in a patient, caring way – I have a beautiful option to soak up all that Jesus is. 

 

I think I can confidently say He’s lovin’ life too.  

 

 

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