Dear Mom

 

May 26, 2025

Dear Mom,

You died today.  Part of me wants today to last forever because I want to keep being inside a day in which you were breathing and here.

For you, maybe this day will last forever.  You entered forever.

As I sat beside your hospice bed, I sang worship songs.  The words were sharper somehow, with heaven so close.  In between songs, I whispered, “Jesus, open your arms.  Jesus, open your arms.”  I wanted Him to be ready to catch you.  To embrace you so fiercely.  The hairs on my arms tingled.

I wasn’t there when you finally let go.  Dad and Bryan and Nate were your loving witnesses.

Sometimes, God has been quiet in my life.  But this week, He was loud.

Rainbows, compassionate nurses, tight-knit family, friends so very supportive, a gluten-free cheeseburger at just the right time, the book I “coincidentally” got from the library, Jeff’s steadiness, songs, visitors, gardens, and a castle. 

Every corner, He shouted, “I am kind!!!!”

It’s hard to imagine life without you.

Who will commentate over the top of TV shows with Dad?  Who will get our “Br” names mixed up?  Who will share mildly inappropriate family stories with store clerks?  Who will eat all the black licorice?  Who will go for long walks with me? 

You always adored Julie Andrews and the “Sound of Music”.  I can see why.  You two are a little alike.

Beautiful voices, always singing.  Kind of kooky, open to oddball ideas.  Loves your kids.  Not afraid of a good hike.  Committed to God and His desires for your life.

Thank you, for leading me in knowing our Savior.

Thank you for being an example of servant-love.

Thank you for being the voice in my head: “Tell yourself the truth, Brooke.”

The truth is, I am really blessed to call you my Mom.  I will miss you terribly.  And, I hope it’s okay that I’m going to talk to you out loud sometimes. 

I’ll think of you when the lilacs bloom, when I snuggle my kids, and when I have a really good laugh.

The day is almost over, but you’re a part of me forever.

Love you so much,

Your daughter Brooke

More Best

 

 

When my friend Megan and I were roommates for a season of life, one of the phrases that came out of that time was “more best.”  I preface this by noting that both of us love words and grammar.  The wonky grammar is part of what makes it funny.  She and I were chatting in my room and I had a pile of clean sheets, fresh out of the dryer, ready to go back on my bed.  I hugged the warm sheets, took a big inhale, and said, “Isn’t this the best?”

Megan’s eyes lit up.  She broke into a huge smile and replied, “You know what would be even more best?”

She then wrapped the warm sheet around her body like a cocoon, closed her eyes, and grinned from ear to ear.  It was indeed, more best.

 

This is a picture of God.

Ephesians chapter 3 ends with Paul’s prayer that his readers would understand the vast dimensions of God’s love.  How wide and long, and high and deep, is the love of Christ.  Then he worships God for who He is: 

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.  Amen!” -Ephesians 3: 20 & 21

The one and only God of the universe is a more best God.

In less than a month, I will celebrate how God was more best in Megan’s story.  I get to be a bridesmaid when she marries, Sam, a man who goes beyond what Megan asked or imagined.  She asked and she imagined for a long time before she met him.  It took patience, trust, and hope.  And now, celebration and exhaling into the beautiful answer.

I married a more best man; also beyond what I asked for or imagined.  When I’m worried and reviewing all the ways things could go wrong, he occasionally says, “But what if it’s really good?”

Of course, goodness is an outcome we can expect as deeply loved followers of God!  Even in the crappiest of situations, we have guidance and help and the power of the Holy Spirit for all who believe Him.  Romans 8:28 says God works everything for good for those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.  There’s another level of goodness – of best – that’s possible because God is good beyond our imaginings.

I hope you can wrap yourself in that.

 

 

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