Mom Traits: SERVICE

This is post number three out of five.  For Mother's Day, I'm sharing traits I love and respect in my mom.  See number one for more detail.

The next trait I love in my mom is one she taught me by living it out in front of me.  As a teenager, we’d go to the nursing home to visit my grandma.  I remember it being a little too warm in there, and the stuffy air smelling a bit like urine and cleaning products.  I wanted to see my grandma, but I was resistant to everything else.  The hallway was usually an obstacle course of residents parked or traveling in their wheelchairs.  We didn’t know them, but my mom told me to touch each one’s hand or shoulder, look them in the eyes, and say hello.  “People need to be touched at least twelve times a day,” she told me, “Who is giving these people their touch quota?  We have to help.”  So, I reluctantly followed behind her, squeezing hands, saying hello, and sometimes being pulled into a bent over hug.

 

The best example of my mom’s heart for service happened with my grandpa; her father-in-law.  You need to know that my mom hates feet.  A lot of moms kiss their kids’ feet or will rub their husband’s feet.  Not my mom.  Feet gross her out and she does not want you putting your feet in her space.  So, it really stuck out to me the day she decided to trim my grandpa’s toenails.  It was hard for him to bend and get his nails himself, so they had gotten bad.  Recalling this story simultaneously makes me cringe, remembering his gnarly, calloused feet, and be amazed, remembering my mom’s happy attitude.  She worked away, trimming the nails and rubbing lotion into the skin, just chatting pleasantly, as if it was no big deal.  There’s more.  Afterwards, when we got in the car to go home, I expected her have a major gross out rant to express what she surely held in earlier.  Nope!  I don’t even remember her mentioning it.  That brand of service is beautiful to me.

 

My last service story with my mama is how she would help me in my classroom.  I was an elementary teacher for many years and when my mom stopped working her own job, she volunteered to read with my students.  During my most difficult year, I had several kids with major behavior issues.  I was exhausted and wanting to quit every day.  My mom came and pulled kids out to a hallway desk and read with them one on one.  While she tried to read with everyone, I also later found out that she had a system.  She was prayerful as she walked in and would catch my eye and see if I indicated anyone that was having a rough day.  One boy often signaled to her, wildly waving his arms and mouthing, “Me!  Me!  Me!”  My mom took my toughest ones and somehow brought them back calmer and happier.  She told me they’d read, but also talk about life.  She pretty much had mini counseling sessions with them, inviting them to work out whatever was bothering them that day.  Her service was a gift, and also just the support of knowing she was joining me in my tough season.

 

There are so many other ways my mom reflects God’s heart through serving others.  I hope these stories have given a good glimpse, and also encouraged you in your places of service.  All these little acts of care – seen and unseen – matter so much.

 

Mom Traits: TRUTH

 

“Tell yourself the truth, Brooke.” 

 

Of all the things my mom said to me growing up, this one sticks out the most.  I still hear her in my head, especially whenever I’m tempted to have a pity party.  As a young girl, I once cried that no one liked me at school.  My mom said something like, “Well, for whatever reason, that one girl is being mean to you.  But tell yourself the truth:  you do have good friends and lots of people love you.”  Included in the truth talks was encouragement to think about God’s perspective, what He says and thinks about me. 

 

Another aspect of my mom’s focus on truth is how she speaks up when things aren’t right.  I respect how she finds a kind, but definitely direct, way of calling out the truth.  This is probably not my mom’s favorite story, but it comes to my mind as an example.  One time, my mom and her younger sister were spending time together; I believe at my aunt’s church service.  A woman in the foyer cheerfully introduced herself and commented on them being mother and daughter.  My mom smiled, but corrected the woman.  “Oh, I’m actually her sister.  We’re only four years apart.”  The woman continued to exclaim over how much they looked like a mother and daughter.  My truth-telling mama interrupted her (still in a friendly tone), “It was already kind of silly of you to make the comment in the first place, and now you’re continuing, which is just making me feel even worse!  So, you should probably switch to a new topic.”  I wanted my mom with me recently when a hairdresser compared me to Cousin It from the Addams Family.  I tried to use my mom's witty superpower:  “Isn’t my hair full and beautiful?  Much prettier than Cousin It, don’t you think?” 

 

My mom speaks truth to build others up too.  What she says is genuine – she means exactly what she says, even to the point of being a smidge awkward or embarrassing. 

 

I know that believing and speaking truth does not come easily for my mom.  She and I both have sensitive spirits and are prone to getting our feelings hurt.  We struggle with fixating on negative things people say.  I wonder if that’s why she worked so hard to help me focus on the truth?  Because she knows from experience that our spirits need what’s noble, right, true, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy  (Philippians 4:8 & 9).  My mom’s trait of truth has been a beautiful gift in my life.