Mom Traits: TRUTH

 

“Tell yourself the truth, Brooke.” 

 

Of all the things my mom said to me growing up, this one sticks out the most.  I still hear her in my head, especially whenever I’m tempted to have a pity party.  As a young girl, I once cried that no one liked me at school.  My mom said something like, “Well, for whatever reason, that one girl is being mean to you.  But tell yourself the truth:  you do have good friends and lots of people love you.”  Included in the truth talks was encouragement to think about God’s perspective, what He says and thinks about me. 

 

Another aspect of my mom’s focus on truth is how she speaks up when things aren’t right.  I respect how she finds a kind, but definitely direct, way of calling out the truth.  This is probably not my mom’s favorite story, but it comes to my mind as an example.  One time, my mom and her younger sister were spending time together; I believe at my aunt’s church service.  A woman in the foyer cheerfully introduced herself and commented on them being mother and daughter.  My mom smiled, but corrected the woman.  “Oh, I’m actually her sister.  We’re only four years apart.”  The woman continued to exclaim over how much they looked like a mother and daughter.  My truth-telling mama interrupted her (still in a friendly tone), “It was already kind of silly of you to make the comment in the first place, and now you’re continuing, which is just making me feel even worse!  So, you should probably switch to a new topic.”  I wanted my mom with me recently when a hairdresser compared me to Cousin It from the Addams Family.  I tried to use my mom's witty superpower:  “Isn’t my hair full and beautiful?  Much prettier than Cousin It, don’t you think?” 

 

My mom speaks truth to build others up too.  What she says is genuine – she means exactly what she says, even to the point of being a smidge awkward or embarrassing. 

 

I know that believing and speaking truth does not come easily for my mom.  She and I both have sensitive spirits and are prone to getting our feelings hurt.  We struggle with fixating on negative things people say.  I wonder if that’s why she worked so hard to help me focus on the truth?  Because she knows from experience that our spirits need what’s noble, right, true, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy  (Philippians 4:8 & 9).  My mom’s trait of truth has been a beautiful gift in my life.

Mom Traits: FAITH

 

For Mother’s Day this year, I’m writing a series of five short pieces.  Each will highlight one of my mom’s traits that I respect, love, and (hopefully) can embody in my life.

 

The shadow that accompanies this tribute is my mom’s dementia.  She’s not so far down that road, but there is still the terrible reality of progressively losing her.  I find myself clinging to who she is now, just in case that part of her slips away by the time I see her again.  It’s comforting to celebrate her through writing.  I hope you are reading this, Mom, and are affirmed in your value as God’s creation and ….. as my wonderful Mama!

 

 

Mom Trait #1:  Faith

Many years ago, a Taco Bell burned down and my mom’s co-workers thought she had something to do with it.  She does love a good fire, but it was her prayers that made them point fingers.  You see, my mom is vocal about her faith.  At work, if someone cursed and said, “Jesus Christ!”, she’d call out, “Praise His holy name!”  She told people that every time she drove past a certain strip joint, she prayed that it would close down.  So, when the Taco Bell next door to the strip joint caught fire, her co-workers joked and said, “Hey Denise!  God missed!”

 

No matter how much people have teased my mom for her bold faith, she is the one people turn to for prayer and reassurance when a life crisis hits.  People are drawn to God’s light in her.   

 

My mom is great at listening to the Holy Spirit and acting on what she perceives.  She doesn’t drive anymore because the dementia makes things disorienting.  So, part of her daily routine for getting out of the house is one – sometimes two – long neighborhood walks.    Just a few weeks ago, my mom was walking and stopped to say hi to another walker and their dog.  As my mom pet the little dog, she chatted a bit and noticed the woman had been crying.  It turned out that the woman was living with her adult children and things weren’t going well.  They kind of pushed her to go on that walk because they wanted some space from her.  My mom was able to speak life-giving, faith-filled words of encouragement.  She reminded the woman of God’s love for her and gave her a big hug.  When my mom told me this story, she said it made her feel like God still has a purpose for her life.   Even as a mostly homebound woman with memory loss, she was able to be used by God.

 

I love my mom’s faith and how she’s never shy about sharing it with others.  It’s one of her many beautiful traits.  And whenever I drive by that strip joint, I also pray for it to close down.  The Taco Bell is fine now.

Traits Coming Up:  Transparency, Weirdness, Truth, and Service