Welcome Back

 ²⁰ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. ²¹ And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’^[b]22 But the father said to his servants,^[c] ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. ²³ And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. ²⁴ For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.  Luke 15:20-24

In the story of the prodigal son, I’m always touched by the father’s reaction to his son’s return.  While the son was still a long way off, his father saw him, felt compassion, and ran to him.  Not waved at him, not beckoned to him, not even walked to him - - the father ran.  I love that.  I love the passion and I love how the father’s reaction is based on who the son is; not what’s he’s done or not done.  

Lately, my three year old son and I have been experiencing multiple homecomings every day.  I’ve been seeing a counselor to help me with some anger struggles as a mother.   She encouraged me to consider the difference between misbehavior and big feelings.  When I see my son overwhelmed by big feelings, instead of a consequence, I’ve been having him take his special blanket to a “calm down spot” and he can come back to play when he’s peaceful again.  When Luke returns from his break, I always open my arms, smile, and say, “Welcome back!”

Luke isn’t the only one who benefits from a calm down spot.   I need it too.  When I my anger bubbles up and I’m starting to cope with yelling or controlling, I’m challenging myself to step away for a moment and regain my peace.  I usually just go in the bathroom with the door closed and take some deep breaths.  When I come out, guess what Luke does and says?  Yep – he opens his arms wide, smiles at me, and says, “Welcome back!”

This is such a beautiful picture of the grace and love God has for us as His sons and daughters.  When we sin, or do anything that puts a barrier in our relationship with him, He welcomes us back.  Every time.  There is love and relationship waiting for us, no matter how many times a day we turn away and turn back again.  In fact, the Bible says God was with us all along (Hebrews 13:5).  Maybe, in the spirit of the prodigal’s father,  Luke and I should run to the person coming back from their break.  Makes me smile just thinking about it. 

Welcome back.

Top photo credit:  Jessica Witters Photography

Womb Time and Word Time

Happy Valentine’s Day  

Up until last year, this holiday held a mostly neutral place in my heart.  But one year ago, Valentine’s Day changed forever.  Now, I absolutely love Valentine’s Day.  It turned out to be the day I got to meet my Micah. 

I still say that a due date is just a good guess, so he wasn’t truly late, but Micah did come two weeks past his expected day.  When they heard my early February due date, some people would comment, “Oh!  Maybe you’ll have a Valentine’s baby!”  Here’s a note for future reference:  never cheerfully tell a pregnant woman that maybe she’ll add two weeks to a very physically uncomfortable time in her life.  I’d try to smile politely and change the subject.

In the end, those well meaning Valentine birthday wishers guessed correctly.  Micah was born on February 14^th a little before sunrise, at home, with the help of Jeff and two midwives.  He was even born en caul, with his amniotic sac intact – a pretty rare and special occurrence.

Two weeks late is a far cry from what mothers of preemies go through.  Rather than watching their due date come and go while their belly expands and stretches, preemie moms get surprised with an early birthday.  My cousin had her little girl at 29 weeks (I need to fact check and edit this post if I’m wrong, but I’m pretty sure that’s the number).  She’s now a tall, athletic eleven year old.  I remember thinking with both pregnancies, “I made it to 29 weeks.”  It was my pregnant brain’s excuse to breathe easier.  Emma turned out great, so my baby would probably have a good chance if he came at that point too. 

Right around that time of pregnancy, I also heard that one day in the womb saves three days in the NICU.  That’s why doctors work so hard to keep the baby from coming too early.  The womb is a powerful place.  It may seem strange that I’m writing so much about these preemie thoughts when I had a very non-preemie baby.  There’s a reason.  Stick with me!

I’ve dealt with some depression this past year.  I’m starting to come out of it one step at a time.  One thing that helps is to spend time with God in the morning.  Unfortunately, feeling depressed is not super conducive to getting up early.  Add to this that my three year old has started losing his affinity for sleep.  He recently told me he hates his bed and wants to throw it away (then he conked out on it for two hours – toddlers say and do funny things).  So, this morning, I woke up at 5:30 and felt God’s nudge to spend time with Him.  I was barely downstairs when Luke shuffled out of bed asking for breakfast.  What the heck?  How is it, on the one day I actually get up to do something positive that he wakes up an hour earlier than usual?!  I was so very mad.  After putting him back in bed with a star light timer set to turn off in one more hour (thanks Aunt Nicole and Uncle Brent!), I settled on the couch with my Bible.  I had to put ear phones in to muffle Luke’s whining upstairs.  I was still mad.

Then God reminded me of that NICU / womb time fact.  Brooke, every minute you spend in my Word has infinitely more power than a minute spent doing anything else.  Don’t think that because this time is interrupted that it holds no strength.  Spend even thirty seconds focused on Me and you will be filled with My power.

Jeff ended up soothing Luke with a book, so I got a whole hour of Bible time.  But, I thought about it differently than when I started.  Those were sixty minutes of “womb time”, of concentrated life given to me.  I was grateful for the gift of that time in a new way.

Every day in the womb is precious. 

So precious.  It’s a very powerful place.

Every moment spent with God and His Word is powerful.  It’s supernaturally different than other minutes you may spend.

So, Happy Valentine’s Day,

Happy Micah Day,

Happy Day of God’s Strength and Love Available to You. 

black and white photo credit