Transformation 5: No Sugar

This is the fifth post in a five part collection about my word from God for 2016 – TRANSFORM.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me… For when I am weak, then I am strong.  -2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Have you ever watched one of those home renovation shows?  There are tons of them out there:  Fixer Upper, Property Brothers, Flip or Flop, to name a few.  I love those shows.  With Fixer Upper, especially, I always know that the homebuyers are going to choose the absolute worst, rundown, ramshackle house.  The more messed up the house is, the more excited I am to watch because they always transform the house into something amazing.  Shiplap is usually involved (other fans – you know what I’m talking about!). 

My final transformation of 2016 is a lot like a Fixer Upper house – in process.  And, by “in process”, I mean it looks like a wreck.  I titled this No Sugar, but really, God is guiding me to let go of all the things I use to fill or distract myself instead of worshiping Him.  I am currently feeling some highs and lows of demolition.  Walls are coming down, old funky systems that don’t work are being ripped out, and I am uncomfortable. 

Sugar has been a lifelong source of comfort.  I turn to candy when I’m bored, anxious, unsettled, or tired.  I put it in the category of an addiction because the pull is so intense that, until a month ago, I couldn’t imagine making it through a day without having sugar in some form.  I am positive that I can’t control my urge for sugar because I’ve tried countless times and ways for over 15 years.  At the end of 2016, God showed me that He was going to take this addiction out of my life.  Because He’s God and isn’t concerned with my powerlessness, He chose to do this two weeks before Christmas – the pinnacle of sugary holidays!

With God’s help, I’ve been mostly free of sugar for a month and a half.  I call it surfing a wave of grace.  When surfers are riding the wave, they are using muscles to maintain their position, but it isn’t a struggle.  They just have to keep going.  That’s what it felt like.  Someone would offer me a treat and I’d quickly turn it down.  I couldn’t think about it much or get into pity party mode.  I had to just keep going.  There were hard days, especially as my body went through physical symptoms of detoxifying from all the sugar I’d been feeding it up until then.  There were some wipe outs too:  days when I chose to soothe discomfort with a cupcake or some chocolate chips.  But there were awesome moments, when I realized I’d gone several days without even thinking about bingeing.  I was just living, enjoying the wave.

Even in the past month when I was sugar free, I found myself feeling addicted to Pinterest and Youtube for the first time.  I have this pull to fill myself with something – anything – so I don’t have to feel what I don’t want to feel or do what I don’t want to do.  Who cares if I’m off sugar, if I’m still looking for wholeness in something other than God?  Pinterest is just another sugar; a filler. 

Home renovators don’t leave an empty, demolished house.  Something new has to go in.  That’s where I am today:  a place of choosing what replaces the old.  Mentally, I know that God is the only true satisfaction, the only solution to my hurts, the only real joy and purpose in life.  I know it, but I’ve allowed other temptations to dull my palate.  Choosing God in a place where I would normally fill myself with sugar does not feel right in the beginning.  It’s a big shift – a death, even, to doing things my way.  For breakfast, my bowl of oatmeal used to be more like a cookie because of all the brown sugar I used.  When I replaced that with slices of banana, my oatmeal tasted really bland.  Over time, that banana has become so yummy and satisfying.   Through this ongoing transformation, God is intensifying the sweetness of His presence in my life.  He is taking back His rightful place as my go-to when things are tough.  

I look at my ramshackle self and say, “What a mess.”  When the Fixer Upper couple looks at a messed up house, they see exciting potential.  God is the ultimate renovator.  The more run down we are, the more glorious His work.  He has unlimited skill and unlimited resources.  He’s not afraid His vision won’t turn out right in the end.  God is creative and intentional.   “I know exactly what I want to do with this,” He says as He walks through the halls of our heart.   He delights in the work; in showing us what we were made for.   We were made to honor Him.