Now That I'm There

 This year, we drove to Spokane for Thanksgiving to be with Jeff’s extended family.  Jeff got off work a little early on Wednesday, and we drove over that night.  About halfway there, we stopped at a gas station so Jeff could get in the back seat with Luke while I drove the rest of the way.  This may not seem interesting or significant, but it is.  A couple of years ago, before I was married or had a baby, I made a declaration in my mind: "I’m never going to have someone ride in the back with my baby.  My baby will learn to entertain himself and be content in the car."

One of my closest friends was a new mom at the time of this declaration.  She or her husband often needed to sit in the back to keep their daughter from crying on long car trips.  Even though I didn’t vocalize my judgment, I wish a thousand times that I could take it back.  I had no idea.  I couldn’t know, really, until I’d experienced the shrieks of my own child.  You think he’ll eventually settle down, but dang, babies have endurance with crying.  You break and suddenly, you’ll do anything to make it stop.  Anything!  Like, have one of you sit in the back and feed him applesauce.
 

Now that I’m there, now that I have a baby too, I daily want to revoke judgments I’ve made towards other parents.  I’m sure I judged parents for things that were actually a victory.  Like messy houses, for example.  Now that I’m there, I know that when my house is a total wreck, it means I chose to be present with Luke and play with him, rather than ignoring him to do dishes.

I say that I’m there, that I’m a parent, so I understand now.  But, I’m not you.  I’m not your child’s parent.  I have better perspective because I’m a parent too (ie: there’s a baby pee stain on my jeans today.  No joke.), but there’s still no basis for judgment.  I know if I understood you better, I’d regret judging you.

I have a joke with God when I find myself making mental comments about others.  I tell Him, “That’s my new best friend, isn’t it?”  He has a way of helping me get to know the people I judge.  One time, I was in an airport security line in Amsterdam.  A girl a few people ahead of me was dressed like she was going clubbing.  Skin tight pants, a strapless crop top, hoop earrings that grazed her shoulders, and three inch heels.  We were boarding a nine hour flight.  I was basically wearing pajamas.  As I judged her highly uncomfortable, impractical wardrobe choices, I stopped and chuckled.  “That’s my new best friend, right, God?”  Yep.  We were seat mates.  Nine hours later, I was blown away by this young woman’s strength and bravery.  She’d never been on a plane before that day; had never left her home in the Ukraine.  At eighteen years old, she was moving to Canada to go to college.  She was taking big steps of faith.  Who the heck cares what she was wearing as she went?  Now that I know her a little better, I’m in a place where the things I judged don’t matter.

This morning, my Bible study was about John 8.  I was supposed to list Jesus’ character traits in the story of a woman caught in adultery. 

John 8:1-11New Living Translation (NLT)

A Woman Caught in Adultery

8 Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, ² but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. ³ As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd.

⁴ “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

⁶ They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. ⁷ They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said,“All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!”⁸ Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

⁹ When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. ¹⁰ Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman,“Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

¹¹ “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

Calm.  Kind.  Wise.  Challenging.  Gracious.  That’s what I see in Jesus. 

The world is filled with people who are different from me.  Close friends and family, even.  I’m so tempted to make judgments – based on a perceived sin, or simply just a different way of thinking.  “If I was them, I would…”  or “I’d never…”  Really?  Is that really true?  I don’t know them deeply enough.  I don’t really understand why they think that way or why that decision is a victory for them when all I see is a messy house (so to speak). 

After the election, I caught up on the phone with the friend from the start of this story.  I knew we had different views about a lot of things, so the conversation initially felt risky.  What if we can’t stay friends because of our views?  What if we hurt each other because we don’t understand the same way?  We talked, we listened, and the conversation felt… calm.  Kind.  Wise.  Challenging.  Gracious.

Where are your accusers?  Where are the people who condemn you?

They’re sitting in the back seat with their baby, understanding you a little better.