I've Missed You

 

I had a dream the other night

We were sitting in a car and you were in the driver’s seat

You buckled up and started to drive

It was strange because I can’t remember the last time you drove

It’s been many years

Then I realized you were back

The real you, my Mom

The haze of dementia was mercifully lifted for the span of a dream

You laughed and joked with me.

 

“I’ve really missed you,” I said,

“You’ve been gone a long time.”

 

The dream was so palpable that it stayed with me through the waking day

I replayed it in my mind to feel close to you again.

 

I wish I could find where you are

And make you feel safe and loved again

I wish I could dig deep into your consciousness to a place

Where you could absorb my words

I’d tell you that my care for you is modeled

After a lifetime of watching you selflessly care for others

I’d tell you that Dad is daily laying down his life for you

The things that anger you are actually the ways he’s being loving to you in this season

I want you to remember God’s nearness

That not one day He allows is wasted

Not one.

 

The beauty of that dream is that I will be with the real you again someday

Just perhaps not on earth

I believe I’ll see you in heaven, restored, renewed

Not only free of dementia, but sin, sadness, and pain

I’ll see you, recognize your joy, and run to you

And I’ll tell you,

“I’ve really missed you.”

 

 

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