Thursday, May 27, 2021

Thoughts On Not Giving Up

 

 

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.  Galatians 6:9

 

Do you ever have a verse or a quote that mocks you?  For me, it’s Galatians 6:9.  A tough part of my personality is that I constantly see how I could improve.  My to do list, my vision board, my book pile – all littered with self improvement ideals.  It’s exhausting and I regularly feel like not doing all the good things I think I need to be doing. 

 

Yesterday, I very much felt like checking out.  No more disciplining kids who keep doing whatever they want to do, no more low-sugar meals, no more keeping the house clean or answering texts in a timely way.  Galatians 6:9 came to mind and I quickly rejected the thought.  ‘Don’t tell me what to do, Galatians.  I’m tired and I’m playing a mindless game on my phone.  I’m done.’

 

Today, my mother-in-law took the kids for the majority of the day.  I had space to think, to sit, to be in a rational headspace again.  At the end of my solitude time, I decided to dig into Galatians 6:9.  I don’t really think God put it in the Bible to shame me or make me mad.  There had to be something to glean with closer inspection.  Here are two thoughts from my time with this verse:

 

#1:  God Can Be My Coca-Cola Truck

 

I was inspired by the surrounding verses as well.  It seems so simple – invest in negative, selfish stuff, get negative, selfish stuff back.  Invest in Holy Spirit inspired, eternally significant stuff, get goodness and eternal life back.  But why can’t I do it consistently?  Why is it so hard for me to stay the course?

 

God reminded me of my recent trip to Seattle.  We (husband Jeff, two sons, and one foster daughter) and I drove over in the evening after Jeff’s work.  We dropped Jeff off at a hotel near the airport (he had a very early flight the next day) and I drove the kids north to my parents’ house.  It was very late, very dark, and very, very rainy.  Because of a corrective eye surgery I had years ago, driving at night is already difficult for me.  Headlights create a glare that makes it hard to see.  That night, this was compounded by the crazy heavy rain on the freeway.  I was panicking and trying to keep my cool with three still awake kids blissfully watching Shrek.   I started praying out loud.  My five year old, Luke, joined me.  “God please stop the rain so my mom can see.  Help her get to Grammy and Papa’s house.”

 

I made my way to the far right lane so I could go slower without bothering too many people.  That’s when God provided a Coca-Cola truck.  A big, beautiful Coca-Cola truck with four wonderfully visible red lights in a big square on the back.  It gave me something to follow that I could see. 

 

Through the glare and haze, I focused on that giant square of brake lights for the majority of the journey.  The truck eventually exited and I prayed again.  “God, what do I do now?”  That’s when the rain stopped.  Luke wasn’t surprised.  “I asked Him to stop it for you, Mom!”  We made safely to my parents’ house.

 

So, I didn’t need to BE any different to get to my destination.  My eyesight did not change.  Instead, I got a reliable focal point.

 

I often feel like giving up on the right things.  God does not.  He’s as steady as they come.  He sets the standard for perseverance, consistency, and goodness.  He can be my Coca-Cola truck.  He can be my reliable focal point to keep me going towards good things.  Just keep staying close - praying, meditating on Scripture, believing what He says.

 

#2:  When I’m Grateful, I Can Name My Harvest

 

I realized another reason why Galatians 6:9 seems so unattainable is I don’t have a good idea of what my harvest actually is.  It feels like parenting, health, doing things for others, etc. are never-ending pursuits that don’t have a clear reaping point.  After studying this afternoon, I still had lots of questions about that.  Clarity came after dinner when I saw our 2 and a half year old foster daughter cleaning up the wooden train set.

 

Since we’ve had her, we have struggled deeply with her behavior issues.  We can rarely leave her alone for even a minute without something naughty happening.  I looked at her smiling, getting along with Luke, and putting toys away without any issues.  I noted the significantly positive behavior change by pausing and thanking God.  I felt Him say, “This is a harvest.”

 

Wow.  Gratitude is a big emphasis in our home, but God showed me I can rename those moments as a harvest; a good fruit of the good seeds He’s helped us plant and tend.  How many times have we redirected naughty behavior?  So. Many. Times.  I want to give up because all I see is continued defiant behavior. 

 

Now, I have better strength to keep going because God helped me see and name the harvest.  The seeds mattered.  He made something good out of them. 

 

God, help me see the harvests in my life.  I know they are everywhere but I need help identifying how past not-giving-ups led to what I’m living now.  Help me focus on you and keep going when I don’t feel like I can.  Please transform Galatians 6:9 from a reminder that I can’t to a reminder that You can.  Amen.



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