“The things that I thought would break me were the things
that drove me straight to Him.” – Katie Davis Majors, Daring To Hope
January is a big month for fresh starts and new
plans. There is a lot of motivation to do something. After some soul-searching between Christmas
and New Year’s Eve, I realized my greatest challenge would be to not do something.
I’m getting off the minimalism/decluttering train….at least for a little
bit.
I have a love-hate relationship with the Bible story of
Mary and Martha. Mary is the sister who
sits and listens to Jesus when He visits, and Martha is the one in the kitchen
getting work done. Jesus encourages
Martha to choose what’s better – Mary’s choice.
“Only one thing is needed,” He tells her.
It’s not a great idea to disagree with Jesus, but I
always push back on this story. Yes,
time with our Savior is the best thing a person could do. For sure.
But, wasn’t Martha serving Him with her hospitality? The daily work of maintaining a home and
caring for our families doesn’t go away if we leave it alone. Martha should get some credit for working
hard.
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| one of my "after" photos |
I struggle with the story because I’m Martha. I have a very hard time being present with
God and my family because my lists are shouting at me. I watch YouTube videos on how to declutter
and deep clean. I have my daily to dos,
a cleaning chart and a list of places in the house that need to be
minimalized. I share before and after
photos with a friend so we can encourage each other to tackle messes. Now that I have children, Christmas and
birthdays make my heart race with anxiety. Celebrations just mean an influx of toys,
clothes, and packaging to process and store somewhere.
My stress over “stuff” extends beyond my own home. My family tells a story of when I was in my
early teens and I cried because my dad was dumpster diving at the neighbor’s
house. They were moving and throwing
away perfectly good things that my dad wanted to salvage. I didn’t want any more stuff at our
house. Now, as an adult, I still wrongly
try to control my parents’ stuff. I
obsessively worry about the day when I may have to clean out their house or my
mother-in-law’s house.
On Christmas Eve this year, my best friend gently and
firmly told me to let go. The stuff
doesn’t matter. Relationships
matter. I told her I knew she was right,
but I didn’t know how to do it.
Then I finished Katie Davis Majors’ book, Daring to
Hope. In her last few lines, she says,
“The things that I thought would break me were the things that drove me
straight to Him.” What would break me? I thought.
I made a list. NOT decluttering
was at the top. This may seem crazy to
people who need more organization in their life, but I also believe there’s someone
out there who can identify with me!
So, for forty days, I’m committed to letting things
sit. I still clean the house a little
each day and keep up on the laundry. But
no minimalism videos, no giveaway piles, and no dumping out drawers to see how
much I can throw out. What am I doing
with the time? I’m playing with my
kids. I’m getting on the floor and
wrestling with them. I’m making truck
noises and driving toy cars over mountains made of blankets. I’m getting out art supplies and letting
messes happen. This is the stuff I’ve
been missing out on because I’ve been organizing and hoping they’d play
independently.
The point is not that I can’t have a simple, clean
house. I just need to put decluttering
back in its rightful place – below time with God and time with family. I think leaving the clutter alone for a time
and paying attention to my boys is a form of sitting at Jesus’ feet. When life feels out of control, I’m going to
have to go to Him for peace, not to organizing.
And, who knows? Perhaps this may
not break me after all.
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